ugh, monday already.

i'm stressed out. i'd forgotten how money woes can throw you out of whack. i'm trying to pay bills on-time, keep the two of us fed--and not solely on cheap, unhealthy foods, but things we enjoy making and eating, save money, and have some leftover for the occasional night out. we went to massachusetts this weekend partially to see katie's family and partially to see amanda palmer's [brilliant] play, with the needle that sings in her heart. it ended up costing around four hundred dollars for various reasons (budget rent-a-car can go fuck themselves), which was not the way it was budgeted. i have yet to take a look at the BANK ACCOUNT CARNAGE.

i got to meet katie's extended family: maternal grandparents, cousins, second cousins. now i've got faces and personalities to go along with the names i've heard. we found out a couple of days before we left that one of said cousins asked what the deal was with katie and i, and guessed correctly that we were dating. while my entire family knows about us and has met katie as my girlfriend, i've met various members of her family here and there as her friend. this is alright with me, mostly because i understand how hard any sort of coming-out is, especially when the person doing the coming-out is a well-established heterosexual. soon after meeting my mother, while still engaged and, obviously, before we ended up together, katie professed her love for the cock very loudly. you see where i'm going here. i can't expect her to just up and affirm her love for me in front of her entire family, especially her parents, with the circumstances as they are. but, as it seems her cousin is wont to do, it felt very much like word had gotten around to the other cousins and i definitely felt like we were under the microscope the entire time. luckily, it wasn't an uncomfortable sort of observation. i feel very at home with her family. they're welcoming. it was actually pretty amusing that i knew that they knew and they knew that i knew and we were all still pretending.

anyway, i generally let my blog entries take whatever direction they will, but my goal for this particular one was to get down the novel feeling of having a partner. i guess i've never really had one before, because i'm somehow surprised at the novelty of the feeling. if i have a problem, she listens and offers solutions. we discuss, we come up with a plan. she is positive, but realistic. one of my favorite things about her is that, even though she comes off as a hard-ass, she's very compassionate and giving. she understands people in a way that's so innate that it puts my psychology degree to shame, that's for sure. what i'm trying to say is that i'm stressed out, but i'm happy.