i did something last week that set me back a good ways in my attempts to diffuse my anger from my last relationship. i spent all week thinking about it, prepping to present it to my therapist, only to leave her office post-appointment feeling no closer to a solution. i'm trying to be patient. it's been a long time since i immersed myself in the process of therapy, but i never really had a particular goal before. i don't feel like this woman and i are on a common wavelength. i feel like the questions she asks me are misguided and off-point and i don't want to hear theories involving my subconscious because i think it's a crock. i'm trying to suss out how many sessions is a proper evaluative period on either end and whether i should start hunting for a new therapist. i wish it wasn't so hard to find a therapist who takes my insurance (which is really fucking good insurance, but the fact that it originates out of california seems to be a problem) and who also makes information about their approaches to their practice available for possible clients. boo.
i'm also really frustrated on a professional level. i have a job which pays me alright, is in an industry i love, but bores me to tears. i have a "hobby" which gets me a good amount of exposure and plenty of connections, but no cash. i meet people who shoot for massive stock photo companies who get paid for uninspired, technically shitty photos. i meet people who are GOOD but who make their cash on headshots or weddings. i guess there's always a compromise, i just wish i had options that would allow me to also make a living on the thing that i'm good at. sometimes i feel like i'm banging my head against a wall. i think the fact that i'm not business-minded in the slightest is a big factor, too. i'm not sure yet how to approach that particular issue, but i'm working on the idea that all good things come with time.
anyway, still having fun with the new lens:
ps: the new regina spektor album comes out tomorrow and it's fantastic. get it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment